Flashback to the Future
More from the Wondermentalist Transition Workshop in Totnes – January 2009
A Wondermentalist Transition Tales creative writing workshop & cabaret
Transition Haikus
Autumn, Winter, Spring;
If we don’t cut consumption
Merge into Summer
I queue in the Spring for
All things edible and good
You queue I queue too
Sarah Wood
My past my future
now as far ever never
was so bright as was
Martia
When it starts to rain
People go really insane
They use it to drink
Carbon dioxide
Holes in the ozone layer
Can we act in time?
2030 Oh how are you
We want to know
[this ain't no haiku...]
The wind turbines whirl
The solar panels are hot
We will keep going
Richard
Peanuts are so nice
But I have to get them sent
From Australia
[I assure you this wasn't me]
O Where will we be
Without the bee wheezing for
Our lemon honey
The Happy Apple
It isn’t open all hours
The end of the world
Lesley
When there is no ice
to make an outdoor latrine
where do penguins poo?
Ceri [the winning haiku]
Sprawling purple streets,
But still you can see in town,
Endless hippy shops
Michael Drummond
Shiny motor car
So Antediluvian
Rusts none the less
Have problems thinking?
Don’t have IQ for haiku?
There’s always drinking
Lucy, Jon & James
We live underground
We are subterranean
Like mole rats we live
Car-copters aloft
Sound surrounds day and night
I wish oil was gone
Just twenty-one years away
We’ve waited for s long
The birth of a new age
I’m peddling like hell
to bake the Totnes bread
There’s an angry mob
Pat
Wondermentalist
Ideology is still
relevant to day
Martin
The sun rose today
Ow, isn’t it hotter now
I grew my arm hair
You moved to London
Gave up poetry for rap
Matt Harvey come back
Origami yurts
These paper cuts really hurts
TCP now please
My grandma ate a mango every morning in her day.
And each one wrapped in a plastic pack that she’d just throw away
She had strawberries in winter – and apples in the spring
She must have been quite special to deserve so many things
Grandma’s house had many rooms but she resided all alone
And a hideout in the countryside made up a second home
And she had energy to burn at the flick of any switch
If everything she says is true she must have been quite rich.
The Garden of my grandma was the prettiest you’ve seen
She never grew a single grain or vegetable or bean
She never had to work the land and get her clothes all mucky
She never had to lift a hand, how could she be so lucky?
Grandma had her very own car, to go just where she’d like
One didn’t have to walk so far, or take the bus, or bike
She didn’t need her neighbours, she knew city folk instead
I hope that she was grateful for the amazing life she led.
Gran would get on aeroplanes if she fancied taking flight
She’d disappear once every year – for maybe just a fortnight!
She must have been contented when her life was so carefree
I like to hear her stories and pretend that it was me…
A day in the life of a Totnes resident
Glen Park
Waking up in my lovely little eco-house is always a pleasure – when the sun shines, even in winter, I have to open a quadruple glazed window – it’s so warm – and that gives me a chance to look at the morning, the river below with our houses nestled on the hillside. Then a quick trip to the compost loo – much improved since they sorted out the drought proofing, and breakfast courtesy of the electricity provided by wind, solar and tidal power, from the Dart.
This morning there’s a meeting of the Wellbeing Integrated Health Care Forum, where we discuss the needs of the sick & elderly in our Baltic Wharf Co-housing Community, and how we can best take care of them. We often do work exchanges and end up with a shared lunch which we take turns to cook in the community kitchen. In the afternoon I go to KEVICC along with other Alexander Teachers to teach children and staff how to look after themselves especially when doing demanding work like carpentry and gardening, but also reading and writing.
After school I come home & have a cup of tea with a neighbour and then wander down to the community garden as it’s my night on the cooking rota. There are four of us preparing a meal for 50 – quite hard work but good fun – lots of singing and joking and fooling around. We pick the vegetables and then head for the kitchen to cook them.
In the evening there’s a dance class in the community centre, which is open to all ages – it’s so good to be able to dance still, despite my getting quite old. Some of the community musicians play for us which makes it very special.
After all that I’m pretty tired and heading home to bed.
Hopes for Totnes in 2030
- more mending of things & less throwing away of things that can be mended
- mis-shapen fruits & vegetables become hugely more desirable than perfectly shaped ones – in fact, both sit side by side on grocer’s shelves in harmony and equal beauty.
- That there will be peace throughout the world
- Return of the wise ‘person’
- Sustainable power for rock bands
- Hover boards
- Knowledge sweets – smartees
- Statue of Empath Man in civic square
- Extraordinary transformation
- Deeper connection
- Trees honoured as meeting places, storey-telling places, cetnres
- Slow boats & punts used for journeys
- Real freedom of consciousness and the widespread availability of opportunities to expand it
- Free energy technology released by those who have withheld it
- A food forest with a town underneath myrtle berry farms
- A giant 30 foot cow made out of un-recyclable bottle tops will be erected on Totnes Castle, absorbing the methane gas from dairy herds.
- You will be able to call a national health dentist and get an appointment that year
- Wicker basket and spoon making will be GCSE subjects
Fears
- Global warming will kill so many creatures
- Having to wear spacesuits to venture outdoors
- Vegetarian Totalitarianism
- Fear of everyone looking inwards
- No chocolate
- Crocs still being fashionable
- More Jerusalem artichokes in the world.
- The twelve-tribes beardy-bread lovers turn out to have been right all along…
- That I’ll be 70…
- Escalation of separateness
- America starting world war 3
- Global fascist dictatorship. Microchipped slaves within a police state
- Morris dancing
- It’ll rain more
- The Totnes Passport
- We will be living underground
- A sprawling Totnes merging into Paignton
- No cinema
- No pension scheme
- There would still be war somewhere in the world
- Fighting over the last bit of firewood or railway track
- They will stop making playing cards
- Having to chew off someone else’s fingers and wear them as my own to get through a biometric identification gate
- All-in-one lycra bodysuits/wetsuits will be daily wear
- pogo sticks will become regular transported
Totnes Times Classifieds of 2030
WANTED: Orgasmatron!
OFFERED: Worn out 30 year old male!
OFFERED: An ancient policeman’s helmet
WANTED: A potting shed
OFFERED: A dozen eggs
OFFERED: Thermal underwear
OFFERED: Cds of Celestial music
WANTED: Set of sharp knives
OFFERED: Brace of pheasants
WANTED: Roll of paper
OFFERED: A pig
WANTED: A goat
WANTED: bi-curious couple seek amorous couple to generate heat for cold Ashburton flat
WANTED: Electric footspa. I just wondered what one was
WANTED: Car to keep chickens in. Must have opening glove box / nesting box
OFFERED: for the post liquid fossil fuel enthusiast who is seeking an unusual structure up which to grow his legumes, this wonderful ‘pea coil’.
OFFERED: potato jewelery, carrot combs, beetroot
WANTED: creative recycler seeks spare vegetables
OFFERED: top hats sown with mustard cress for mobile snacks. $30 each [typer's note: I don't have the pound sign on my keyboard]
OFFERED: Entire back collection of ‘Thimbles of the World’, collected over 2 years into a full collection in its own binder, because I recently got a life.
OFFERED: Outdated computer, made 2029 still functions, with retro old fashioned design. Slow, compared to what’s hot today. Giveaway price only one bale of hay.
WANTED: Marmalade.
OFFERED: All the bread I my cupboard
WANTED: Full scuba diving kit
OFFERED: Shoelaces
WANTED: Socks
OFFERED: Will trade anything
2030 looking back to now…
Crocs & ugg boots were all the rage along with iphones, ipods and podcasts,
Wifi broadband allowed online shopping from the sofa;
online dating in the bath,and online banking in the loo…
if you wanted to
Could you be the one to give advice?
Could you be the one to give advice
To be wise enough to help another
To sort out someone else’s life
To make a difference to the way they live
I’ve tried but decided it’s a waste of time
There’s no way I can change another’s life
If that’s the way they want to go
Who am I to offer them another way
Ros Langdon
John Corker of Goveton Grape Growers has had a bumper year harvesting over 1000kg of grapes. But a strike by the Devon Grape Traders Association means his grapes will stand idle, following the sacking of Jim Davis after he lost his leg in an accident. Pip Vine of the DGTA said, “Jim was sacked without warning. He couldn’t defend himself. He didn’t have a leg to stand on.” Grapes will be composted but there will be no champagne this year.
Amanda Cuthbert
2030
Good morning Totnes, January 17th 2030.
I’m Walter Harris and it’s a balmy 85oFarenheit. Top news story is, resistance farmers in the Riverford district have taken hostage several beloved colonialists and threatened them with anaerobic digestion…
They began arriving in 2012. That island in the Atlantic shipped into the sea and we waved goodbye to their Eastern side. Soon the mutant rice, tomatoes and soya ravaged their crops both human and plant. Children and roots withered together and we watched smug and happy in our ethical cocoon. But we opened our arms to our long independent progeny. They were cowed at first but soon remembered their thirst and now we toil for them as they have a nicer day.
Breaking news: Rickshaw Slaves were put down with extreme prefundice in the civic square…
Sean (the dowser) Ferris
From 2030
It’s strange to think of a time
Of the early part of the century for instance
When we learn that there were these big stores
Full of foods from every country
Brought to us by giant trucks and aeroplanes
Packaged in cardboard and plastic to appeal to tastes
Whole forests were cut down in order to make these presentations
Which were then discarded
And taken away in black sacks
To giant rubbish dumps.
What a crazy way to live!
From 2030
Up at dawn
They sky is clear
I race down to the beach
To wash in the sea
Back for a breakfast
Of wild fruits from the garden
And a cup of nettle tea
Enjoying the walk to the village
Meeting friends on the way
All intent on the new project
(a secret til now)
Enabling people to contact
Their innovative ideas
And translate them into
A practical reality
Home at sunset
Glad of a lift from Mike
and his horse-drawn buggy
Time to gather some wood
To make a good fire
To cook my dinner on
By 6pm I’m home and sitting round the fire, cooking potatoes and listening to a man sing sad songs on an old guitar while my kids are stripping the neighbours defunct car to make crutches for a neighbour – who lost his legs last week.
By 8pm the gorse wine is once more on my mind.
Nostalgia
I remember a world
Where I could get up
In the middle of the night
And drive 3 hours
Just to be with you
On a whim
Now I’d have to swim
It was okay back then
Cause you could get a frozen coffee at 3am
Now in Winter I can’t get a cup of tea til noon
But I still get twitchy under a fool moon
And want to do something crazy
Go garden ferociously
By the ever encroaching sea
I smile as I remember how
Stupid and impulsive I used to be
Liv Torc
The dream was vivid and real
I could remember it all and knew it was important. A Big Dream. It called to be shared. I closed my eyes again and tuned into the Dream Shamaness. She heard, and was waiting for me when I later arrived at her yurt.
And not just her. They were all there. The elders and the shining ones.. I sat, and went back over the dream in my mind’s eye, knowing they could all see and hear it as if it was their own.
In the instance that followed, all thoughts were heard, all feelings sensed. Finally the Shamaness spoke. “It is a Dream for the Community. There will be a gathering. Sound the drums.” Soon the persistent beat could be heard for miles and the people gathered. Those who could come came, and they were the ones who would hear and pass the message on. For there was a message in the Dream, a message from the Beyond.
The gathering took place in the sacred community dance hall, next to the Temple of Sound and Light. The Dream Shamaness focused her imagination into the crystal sphere which projected a perfect three dimensional hologram of the dream into the centre of the space. The others watched and heard, and in the silence that ensued, sat with and made sense of the Dream Message. Then the children spoke first and everyone listened. The rains are coming, prepare the fields, positiion the containers, send word to the other villagers. The rains are coming.
It was certainly a special day but not that extraordinary by the standards of the time.
Luxury Wedding Travel Service
Lonely? Desperate? Celibate?
Looking for an indulgent celebration with a difference?
Wait no longer!!
Be transported to your perfect future by simply coming along to our Totnes office for a painless and relaxing aromatherapy aura-recognition scan (100% organic)
After just 2 hours, we guarantee to have matched you with your perfect trans-global partner.
For only 100 Totnes pounds, and a llama, we will then transport you to your perfect mate on one of our custom-design love vehicles. Choose from:-
- The air balloon of hot desire [a pesticide free willow weaved basket, hand crafted with love by the Dartington WI]
- The chauffeur driven pedalo of passion
- Or the best-selling charismatic carrot-driven pumpkin carriage.
Now! You don’t even have to leave your home with our vibrant Venus virtual encounter – our new inclusive package for agoraphobics or paranoid reclusives and those with bad hair.
Book your appointment now – and specify our popular lifetime model or, at a giveaway price upgrade your subscription to our polyamory package which entitles you to regular swaps.
Live happily ever after or your money back!
In the unlikely circumstance of misalignment we offer a free aura rescan or your Totnes pounds refunded [NB llamas will be kept as a deposit] Read the small print.
8am. Too hot. Sun through the skylight lands on my hempfibre bedspread and cannot escape through the thick cob walls. Groaning from the excess of brambletip wine at the community songshare last night, I navigate to the compost loo, secretly choosing to ignore that the sawdust bucket needs a refill, and make my way to the kitchen for an acorn coffee. Sign – the counters are piled high with hand-crafted wooden & terracotta bowls crusted with vegan mush – and someone is salting animal skins in the sink again. I boil some quinoa and leave it to cook in the stock-pot while I leave for the daily dreamshare and interpretation session, managing to stand on a felting needle that was left on the floor on my way to the circle room.
10am. To do – feed the sheep, chop wood, I must do some laundry but think my legs are too weak to pedal today. Hope it’s not my turn to cook. Organise ANOTHER NVC check in about the recent difficulties with the elders. Bloody consensus!!
We stood outside in the dark and looked up at the night sky.
“Could you not see the stars?” I asked grandpa. “Did you really think that we were alone? How was that possible?”
“There was always football on the telly, and wars and disasters too. The only stars we were told about lived in Hollywood or played for Manchester United.”
“But did you not question the stories you were told? Did you really believe we were created by lightning in a muddy pool. A random accident in a meaningless universe. In your heart did you not feel something was fundamentally wrong?
Did you not see the stars?
Did you really think that we were all alone?”
Leave a comment
If you wish to comment on a particular paragraph
and quote the relevant number in your comment.